Love Is What You Make It
So about five years ago, I was on a date with this girl with big breasts, and things were going really well... until I mentioned the fact that I was still living with my father whose name is Vito by the way. She told me she wanted nothing to do with a daddy's boy like me, and left me alone with my food. On a brighter note though, the food was excellent, and I asked the waiter for some ice cream for dessert. "Give me the ice cream motherfucker." I said which caused my waiter to say, "I'll write it down in a second you fat fuck!" This really hurt my feelings, and I got up from my seat, and left the restaurant. I hadn't even payed my bill either that'll teach that rude waiter. I reached my house or rather my father's house, and I walked in through the front door shutting it tight behind me. My father was in his study lecturing the local undertaker about how to properly bury a person alive when I walked in and interrupted them. "Michael how did your date go?" My father asked. "She ran out on me because I told her I still lived with you!" I explained as I began crying. "I don't what to do Dad I don't know what to do..." I was cut off however as my father slapped me, and yelled, "you can act like a man! What's the matter with you?" My father then proceeded to go on a long rant about how I should be working with him, and joining the family business. You see my father is the head of a major crime family, and is one of the richest men in the world. He also used to date Donald Trump back in 1997. I've never been interested in my father's criminal lifestyle. My brothers on the other hand were a different story. However, working for my father ended up backfiring for both of them with my eldest brother Sonny getting gunned down on the freeway by some rival family hitmen, and my other brother Fredo getting sent to Las Vegas to get high. I eventually left my father's study, and went into my bedroom to watch some Amazon Prime on my ps3. I decided to watch The Tweenies which is my favourite show of all time! Want a brief summary of what the show's about? Too bad you're not getting one! Look it up on Wikipedia, and write me a report on it. I want it on my desk by tomorrow morning. So as I was saying, I love The Tweenies, and I've always watch whenever I'm in a bad mood or something's not going right in my life. I should mention that the Tweenies is meant for really young kids like ages 3-7, but I did not care. My father knew of my Tweenies addiction, and was strongly against it citing it as being, "sick and wrong." I was watching the episode "Pyjama Time," during which there's a scene in which Milo sings a lullaby for Jake, and proceeds to snuggle up next to him in a small blanket. This in my opinion was a clear hint at Milo's feelings for Jake, and Jake's dumb ass not being able to see it. You see it is a well known fact.... to me at least that Milo has the hots for Jake, but is too much of a pussy to tell him about it. While the lullaby song was playing, my father walked in hiding something behind his back. "What's beind your back Pop?" I asked to which my father smiled, and he showed me a small gift wrapped in Christmas wrapping paper. "Uh Pop Christmas isn't for another good few months what's with the present?" I asked to which my father replied with, "it's my way of saying sorry for my attitude earlier." He handed me the present, and I began to unwrap it. After I was done unwrapping it, I saw that it was a Tweenies DVD entitled, "Love Is What You Make It." I had never heard of an episode of The Tweenies called that so I was very excited to watch it. The cover meanwhile had a picture of Jake holding some flowers with Milo standing in front of him, and he was blushing like crazy.. Meanwhile, the other Tweenies including Max and Judy spying on them from the kitchen. I looked at the back, and it had an incredibly brief summary of what was on the DVD. This is what it said: "in this never before seen episode, Milo's true feelings are finally revealed, but will Jake accept his friend's confession or will he make him cry?" I looked at my father, and asked, "where did you get this from?" "The executives at CBeebies are on my payroll, and they sent to me with a small bag of £50,000." My father explained, and finished with, "I hope you enjoy this episode, and if you don't then I will find you, and I will make you an offer you can't refuse." And with that, my father left my room. Of course, he had gotten it from his contacts at CBeebies. They had been on his payroll for years ever since 1997 to be exact. I threw the disc into my ps3 without even looking at it, and grabbed my controller, as I waited for it to start up. The DVD showed some weird footage of a guy running over an elderly lady with a Taxi, a Zebra humping a lion in CGI animation, and a guy doing crack. 'My father probably added that in. He was quite the fan of Wii Sports after all.' I thought to myself as the main menu FINALLY appeared after about two hours of waiting. The main menu was nothing special really it just showed the Tweenies dancing to an instrumental version of the main theme, There was 69 options! But I didn't have time to look at all of them so I just clicked the top one which read, "play episode." The main theme song played like normal, no blood or gore, it was so fucking normal that I actually threw up all over the floor. I'm dead serious. The title card then appeared, and it showed a picture of Milo giving some flowers to Jake. The episode then started with The Tweenies singing a song like normal. In this episode, they sang, I Want To Know What Love Is by Foreigner. After the song finished, it transitioned to show Milo sitting in the doll's house by himself. He began saying things like, "why can't I just tell him I feel," and "what if he shoves an AK 47 up my ass?" Max then walked by with a book in his hand, and saw that Milo was upset. "Oh what's the matter Milo?" Max asked in his Yorkshire accent while getting into the house with Milo. "It's Jake Max." Milo began. "What about him?" Max asked curiously. "I um..... I um....... I have a crush on him!" Milo admitted. "How long?" Max asked. "Ever since I first met him. Everytime I see him he makes my heart do somersaults. I wanted to tell him I did, and I still do. But I'm worried if I do he'll reject me." Milo explained. "Milo don't be such a bloody pussy, and just tell him!" Bella yelled as she walked into the doll's house with Fizz and Judy following behind her. "I can't what if he turns me down like The Doctor turned Cristina's request to travel with him in "Planet of The Dead?" Milo asked. "Of course he won't. Now Milo you simply must tell him before it's too late." Fizz explained. "Fizz is right Milo, and besides even if Jake does reject you, I'm sure he'll still want to be best friends with you." Judy explained. "Yeah you're right!" Milo said confidently while getting up from his seat. Suddenly, the screen changed to show Doodles pressing the Tweenie clock, and saying, "Tweenie clock where will it stop?" The clock stopped on 'Story Time,' and the screen transitioned again to show the Tweenies sitting with Judy telling them a story. The story Judy read was called, "love between best friends." It was about a football player meeting the local mob boss, and they become best friends. They soon realise they have feelings for each other, and confess their feelings in Gordon Ramsey's kitchen. This inspires Milo who after the story finishes heads out into the garden confusing the other Tweenies as well as Judy. Milo headed into the garden, and began picking at some flowers. Max who was out in the garden doing some gardening walked up to him, and asked in a somewhat threatening way, "what are you doing to me flowers Milo?" "Sorry Max but I need these for my plan to confess to Jake." Suddenly Doctor Octopus from Spider-Man 2 came in, and said, "if you want to get a woman to fall in love with you. Feed her poetry. Never fails." "But Jake's a guy." Milo said to which Doc Octopus replied with, "shit," before disappearing back into the shadows. "The fuck was that about?" Max asked while Milo grabbed the last of the flowers he needed before heading back inside the nursery. Milo walked into the main play area where he saw Jake doing some painting with Bella, Fizz, and Judy. Milo then asked if he could borrow Jake for a minute, Jake agreed, and the others knowing what was about to happen snuck into the kitchen with Max following behind them. From behind the door, they peaked in through the keyhole like some sort of Mr Bean as Milo began speaking to Jake. "Uh Jake these are for you." Milo said awkwardly as he handed the flowers to Jake who said, "thanks Milo what they for?" "Um Jake uh... I just.... wanted to say......." Milo's voice trailed off before he finally said, "I love you! I want to marry you, have kids with you, have a house with you, have a car with you, and pay the bills with you." Milo confessed while blushing madly. Jake whose face was in passive replied with, "Milo I'm sorry but I actually love Fizz." Fizz came in, and start making out with Jake. "Well that's a bunch of bullshit." Max said while walking into the room with Bella and Judy following behind him. Milo sat down on the floor, and started to cry his eyes out. Milo then turned to the camera, and said, "uhhhh......" Then the episode ended with the normal credits. It then showed a post credit scene which had The Shadow Reader staring at the screen, he then shook his head, and said, "I did not approve of this!" After it ended, the DVD returned to the main menu which looked the same as it had done before. I pressed the eject button on my ps3, and I felt a strange feeling. A feeling of confidence which I had never felt before. Without thinking, I ran downstairs towards my front door. I put on my best suit jacket, and made my way down the streets towards where the girl with big breasts from earlier lived. Yes I knew where she lived. I had been there to pick her up duh! She opened her door, and said, "what do you want?" I didn't say anything, I instead kissed her violently, and she let me inside where we proceeded to.... do a lot of inappropriate things that I do not feel like discussing here quite frankly. Following this, we began dating again, and six months later, we ended up getting married, and then I ended up having five kids with her. Yes five! Let's just say we were very busy if you know what I mean. I bet you do you cheeky reader you ;) However, it wasn't all bright and sunny however as a few weeks ago, my father died from eating a rotten cheeseburger at McDonalds. With my father dead and my brother Fredo being too much of a pussy to take over, I was forced to take over my father's business with my right-hand man Frank 'Frankie Five Angels' Pentangeli, and my caporeigmes Peter Clemenza and Albert Neri. I am doing well though, as I'm now making more money than I have done before, and I'm the most loved person in the entire city. But I don't think I'd of gotten any of that if I hadn't seen that episode. So remember kids if there's someone you have feelings for, and they don't know it. Make sure to confess to them as soon as possible. Because if you don't.... then you might end up sweeping up the roads like Joe, and we wouldn't want that now would we? Category:Bruno Tattagllia